I guess its......On to Cycle 16

I started out this morning with horrible, horible cramps. And a temp drop. And a BFN! So throw this cycle out the window. Next please! I feel it's officially safe to stop the progesterone and AF should be here by Monday or so. :(   Well I should know better than to get excited by temps anyways. I have had several good looking charts that would typically indicate a BFP is possible but instead they seem to be laughing hysterically at me. "Nope try again next time!! HA HA HA"

Well in looking ahead I know when I should ovulate for December. And if a BFP will come, it will be around or just before New Year's. Even though I should be thinking positive, I am coming to the realization that this might not happen naturally, as much as I want it to. I am getting closer and closer to the feeling that this emtionally draining process may require medical intervention and I'm slowly becoming ok with this. Whether it be IUI (intra uterine insemination) or just taking meds (clomid or femera, trigger shots, etc) without the IUI, I am so sick of trying and nothing working. IT JUST PLAIN SUCKS!! So..now I find myself wanting to go to the RE (reproductive endocrinologist) sooner than later. But we will continue trying for December then January and if nothing works, its to the RE by February per the dr recommendations.

Ryan and I got in an argument the other night when I said that I am sad and don't think I'm pregnant this cycle. He said there is always next month. While this is true, I did not want to hear this at that moment. I wanted him to say "I'm sorry" and be sad with me. He did not do this, but he is very good at making me try to think more positive and mentioned to me that we do have so much more to be thankful for even without a child. We have dogs, a great house, married and are happy. This is all 100% true. However, all of that is basically my "left hand" and my "right hand" has the wish to have a baby, something any woman's body is MEANT TO DO...and its empty.

Anyways, I'm running in a holiday 5k tomorrow afternoon over in Dexter so that will be fun! Also Ryan and I both have Monday off to chill..then back to work on Tuesday and we both have December 23rd off. We got to put in our requests for time off for 2012 and hope we get our requests.